current thoughts.

• we needed real face masks before working with that paint thinner today. like the ones that block toxic substances. 
• I want to learn so much more about the refugee situation in israel. and be more active in it.
• I'm worried about my ability to have a real impact in public health in a sustainable and beneficial way
• Eritrean women seem to have no quarrels about breastfeeding. and that's beautiful.
• so many cats in florentin. somanycats. supposedly to control the mice/rodents, which is a lovely idea. ...but the cats pee everywhere as well. mixed feeling on this. 
• sparkling water in the grapefruit flavor is my new vice
• I miss trees, phone calls, and real (non-instant) coffee
• cooking with a convection oven is an artform, and I am not an artist. 
• waking up to sirens is making me slightly jumpy. especially when sirens were happening in my dream, and it turns out they are real.
• good things to come.

dwelling.

I really lucked out in my apartment here in Tel Aviv (thanks to ali, ruthie, and daniel!). it's in a hip little neighborhood called Florentin, where nose rings and dreads are abundant. so clearly I love it. the usual tenant is a fashion designer so the space is beautiful and filled with great little things.

israel.

so I've made it!

which is great.

took about 3 days of travel, lots of questioning, some freak outs and a whole lot of excitement.
and some lost luggage. and questioning by Israeli immigration. apparently I need to step up my first impression game.

upgraded to first class, and feeling out of place. not enough to not snag the mini philosophy products though. helpful with the lost luggage. gimme dat.

so all in all, an adventure has begun.

an adventure taking place in the above outfit for about 4 days, courtesy of United airlines and Hurricane Arthur. 

my mom also flew in for about 48 hours with her dear, brave friend Marva. Marva's family was also here, so I got to hang with some familiar faces and this spunky little girl who was just featured by Humans of New York during their layover:

we got some traveling, beach, market, and lots of eating time in. I am beyond grateful for the time I had with everyone. helped to lessen the disorientation that comes with transition and not having luggage.

FALAFEL. 

they also left about an hour after the first siren sounded for the rockets.
I was standing on the balcony of the Sheridan Hotel actually, watching people run/speed walk/lazily walk/not walk from the beach as the sirens, and then explosion from the intercepted rocket happened.

not a bad view to listen to sirens/rockets from. 

it is an interesting time to be in Israel. a learning experience. gaining a new perspective. 

I don't feel well informed enough to comment on what exactly is going on over here currently. 

I am getting used to the sirens going off, knowing I have a minute and a half to make it down two flights of stairs to the stairwell. I've woken up to sirens the past two days, and I think with each one, I'm becoming a little less anxious. 

adjusting to a new present. downloading rocket alert apps. writing an evacuation plan. 

also reassuring is that life in Tel Aviv just moves on. the city and country seem used to the rockets and conflict, which saddens me. but I have never experienced anything even remotely close to this in my life. 

I also have received some incredible support from BU, my organization here, friends, and family. 

so currently, I feel moderately safe and have not made any decisions to leave. 

good things to come. 

brandi carlile

on repeat this week. 

like maybe you are magic

leaving is not enough; you must
stay gone. train your heart
like a dog. change the locks
even on the house he’s never
visited. you lucky, lucky girl.
you have an apartment
just your size. a bathtub
full of tea. a heart the size
of Arizona, but not nearly
so arid. don’t wish away
your cracked past, your
crooked toes, your problems
are papier mache puppets
you made or bought because the vendor
at the market was so compelling you just
had to have them. you had to have him.
and you did. and now you pull down
the bridge between your houses,
you make him call before
he visits, you take a lover
for granted, you take
a lover who looks at you
like maybe you are magic. make
the first bottle you consume
in this place a relic. place it
on whatever altar you fashion
with a knife and five cranberries.
don’t lose too much weight.
stupid girls are always trying
to disappear as revenge. and you
are not stupid. you loved a man
with more hands than a parade
of beggars, and here you stand. heart
like a four-poster bed. heart like a canvas.
heart leaking something so strong
they can smell it in the street.

- Frida

mary lambert - body love

as a new semester approaches and the uncertainty of a new relationship looms over my head, I found this video to be calming for my insecurity.