Issues of the heart.

once again, I have been super absent from the blogging world.

finals and the holidays got the best of me but at least I have good grades and wonderful presents!

  

I also completed all of my cardiac tests on one of my free days during finals week. 

probably one of the stupidest choices I've ever made.

going by yourself to a hospital is no fun, and especially not when everyone there keeps asking you why you're alone. 

but I did it, and then I went back to campus and took some more tests.

and between the stress of finals and rushing to pack and come home and then getting home and wanting to see everyone, I completely forgot about the tests and getting the results.

and then I suddenly remembered and started to freak out/stress about them.

and the fact that the hospital forgot to fax my results to my cardiologist was more frustrating.

and then they forgot to send them over again until it was two weeks after my tests and I still had no results. 

but I got results today..

and it's not terrible, but I do definitely have something wrong with my heart.

so far, what I've gotten told is that I have a small hole/channel between the chambers of my heart.

the cardiologist isn't sure how big it is or where exactly it is, but he said it's not horrible news so I'm choosing to believe him.

I have to do another test to figure all that out, and then go from there. 

based on my google findings so far (real legit I promise), they just repair the hole and everything will be fine. plus, they prescribed me meds to slow my heart down so I won't notice it when it trips and races, and will basically be more comfortably.  I thought this was really considerate of them.

and hopefully I'll get a wicked scar like 'arry Potter!

I told my mom I wanted a boob job to cover up the scar also. 

she didn't find that funny.

most of all, I'm just glad they found something, and I haven't been imagining all these things with my heart. but it's still kind of scary. 

I've been pretty naive all along and just assumed that it would all just end up that I've been too stressed and just needed to slow down.

so I'm still in shock.

not quite what I was expecting.

Heart Monitor on Halloween? Sounds Appealing.

first off, this song is my new obsession.

"there is no one like no one like me."-remember that.

secondly, I decided to go to the student service Sunday night. I'm normally not one to go to mass, but I started going with my ex, and this was my first weekend single, and I was feeling kind of lost. 

oh. my. gosh. it was exactly what I needed. the sermon was all about loving yourself, and forgiving yourself for your mistakes. plus, I sat with some new friends and felt 10x better.

now Awesome/Awkward

Awesome:

-My momma is coming to see me again!

-I went to to the Joffery Ballet on Sunday

-Pinterest. If you don't know what this is, check it out:

http://pinterest.com/

it has awesome things like this:

I want every single part of this.

-I got to volunteer this week-I couldn't make it at all last week, and it seriously about killed me. 

-I get to go to Miseriordia's (where I volunteer) halloween party-this means two costumes people! One for Thursday, and one for the weekend. I'm thinking Joan Holloway and an cute indian

-this 8 tracks playlist: http://8tracks.com/kaligo772/sometimes-you-just-want-to-be-happy-and-sing

Awkward:

-trying to eat salad out of a bag. youknow, because walking tacos are awesome, and I thought the same idea would work for a salad right? no. false. you will get ranch everywhere, and you will stab yourself with a fork, and you will look like a crack addict.

-not realizing the tights you wore to the ballet have a HUGE run right up the back. what up classy folk of chicago?!

-almost missing your stop on the EL and running to the doors and they close on you. like literally have to strongarm the doors to get them open much to the shock of the other people on the EL. good thing I work out huh?

-having 3 doctor's appointments yesterday. yes, three! worst. thing. ever.

and for the big one.

-I have to wear a heart monitor on halloween. Like full-on sticky pads, and control boxy thing.

I finally sucked it up and got my heart looked at only to find out they have no idea what's going on besides that it isn't normal, and it's not something they can find on an EKG (believe me, I had 2 yesterday). When it rains, it pours huh? Break-up, heart monitor, doctors aren't sure what's going on, and my heart randomly flips out about 3 times a day. I'm not the type of person to admit when I'm overwhelmed, normally I just work through it myself, and keep my freakouts to myself but this is a bit much.  crazy, crazy life people.

but my momma's coming, and my friends are awesome so it will all work out.