words of wisdom

so I know it isn't wednesday yet, but this quote was fitting to my mood today.

a lot of times I feel like I'm going against the crowd in college. 

I'm not a huge partier.

I don't have a crazy huge friend group.

I haven't dated a ton of guys.

and sometimes it's kind of tiring to always be the "odd" one,

 or the one everyone says is doing their own thing.

honestly, this feeling has been bumming me out lately.

but then I had a long talk with two close friends and saw this photo

and it hit me.

I am who I am. 

this is my life story, and it's my choices.

no matter how strange or against the crowd they may be. 

no one else should ever have control over that.

(ps. I have a BIG life update so share soooon!)

springtime!

new buddha from bethany! (aka best friend ever)

new lightweight blouses, aww yeah

and of course ridiculous party photos with co-workers leaving for japan! (so.jealous.)

loving all the chalk quotes by loyola

pretty pretty lake

favorite.

st. patty's day!

from a delicious little bakery bethany and I found on my visit to see her!

The adventure of a lifetime...spring break 2012 part two!

this is for real a van we saw in savnnah.....uuuh.

the world's most delicious and cheap cupcake ever. savannah for the win again.

and now for orlando (which basically means the wizarding world of harry potter)!

red lobster dinner!

so excited! little did we know that the ride in Hogwarts is seriously the scariest thing ever.

no worries, I totally survived! ...and texted my momma this picture after. she was not enthused.

and the last stop of the trip, Daytona Beach!

just beachin'

this trip was seriously the best thing ever, with the best people ever.

truly the adventure of a lifetime.

and then after we drove the 19 hours back, I drove 4 hours to Iowa City to see friend.
and took ridiculous photos of course.

crazy. eyes.

this is our friendship in one photo. 

The adventure of a lifetime...spring break 2012!

we have made it to savannah, georgia and we're alive! 

this is really an accomplishment people.

especially when you hit north carolina and realize it's snowing....buzzkill.

not to mention before we had even left the city I had

A.) missed our first two exits

B.) accidentally driven into oncoming traffic

.....and a few hours later I missed our exit again.

and got us lost in the ghetto... "don't turn around in the murder gas station!"

story of our trip: murder gas station, murder man, murder van, and murder bridge. 

clearly it's been an adventure.

look, it's the picture I sent to my momma to prove we were alive at 5 in the morning!

the mountains we drove through were so beautiful!

at paula deen's restautant, The Lady and Sons

gonna get diabetes for sure! food.coma.

by the river in savannah...I assure the sky truly does look like that. greatness.

the gods were smiling upon us.

best photo ever. 

this store was seriously like anthropology on steroids. I wanted everything!

so peaceful.

Life Lessons.

I feel like life lately has been plump full of life lessons.

it's been a lot of growing up.

and realizing that it will never work out with someone,

but it'll be ok.

it's been a lot of realizing you absolutely have to do what is best for you.

life lesson #1: look out for yourself.

and don't allow people who can't respect you to stay in your life,

because reality is you don't need them.

life lesson #2: don't be so hard on yourself

my ex just started dating someone else.

and of course I had my little freak-out and wondering what she had that I didn't.

and then realizing that's bogus talk.

because I'm in a good place in my life.

I have job offers for next year. (LA and Atlanta so far)

I'm graduating a year early with honors.

I decided to stay in chicago for the summer.

 it'll all be ok.

and most likely, it'll be much better than ok.

life lesson #3: it's still going to hurt.

I'm also learning you still need to be realistic though.

life will not always be rainbows and butterflies.

I think sometimes because I have already had to go through some difficult things,

I get into this mindset that life should get easier and that I won't get hurt.

but that's not true.

and that's ok. 

because when you are pushed to go through something, 

that's when you also learn the most about yourself.

like I realized I'm never going to want to live in Iowa or a small-town.

so why was I trying to be with a guy who wanted that?

or I realized I really just want to travel and become my own person.

so why was I trying to be with someone when it felt restricting?

who knows. 

but the reality is it will still hurt for bit,

but then I'm going to be fine.

sometimes, you just have to learn to refuse to settle.

it's your life, you call the shots. 

My life's an Adele Album Part Two.

just in case you missed the first part, here's the link:

http://kelli-alisvolatpropriis.blogspot.com/2011/10/life-is-rough.html

I messed up.

again. 

my ex and I started talking again with all my heart stuff going on,

but I was pretty dead set that would be all we would talk about.

of course that didn't happen.

but at least I wasn't the one changing the relationship this time.

I didn't take it to the next level.

he did.

but of course I believed him.

and this week, while I am in midst of making the biggest choice of my life,

I find out he's been talking to another girl the whole time.

and I got played.

again.

and he's sorry.

again.

and he's admitting he messed up.

 again.

and that we're only having this conversation because he cares about her.

not because that's what's fair to me.

ouch.

but I'm not fighting over it anymore.

there's nothing left to fight for.

why fight for lies? why fight for the bullsh*t?

it's not worth it. 

he's not worth it.

because at a certain point, you reach a breaking point.

and you realize you deserve better.

this is my breaking point.

Midterm Week=Wearing a leotard as a shirt.

this week has been a tad too much on the doom and gloom side for me...

and this is exactly how I feel about that. ridiculous face and all.

(I am required to wear all black for Jazz Dance)

and all this studying for midterms has me acting real lazy,

so after dance today, I, of course, decide it is entirely too much work to change out of my leotard.

so this is what I ended up with:

plus I figured since I was already wearing a leotard and fake suede, I might as well add fake leather!

plus it disguises the fact that I am wearing a leotard as shirt. it's a win-win, folks.

also, if anyone knows anything about early modern China....get at me! that's my next midterm, and I can't even spell the names correctly so far. good sign huh?