Feeling Alive.

have you ever had days where you just felt alive?

it's a wonderful feeling, and sometimes is something I lose sight of.

I have a tendency to just kind of halfway live,

like I go through the motions of each day, and it's ok,

but I don't get that feeling of being fully alive.

I've been feeling stuck.

I've been worrying about my heart, 

and jumping to conclusions after my recent cardio appointment.

I've been freaking out about graduation and real life.

I've been worrying about a close friend who recently found out some scary health news.

I've been just going through the motions with school, work, and my friendships.

I've been counting down the days to graduation and moving and starting my "life."

it just felt like the same cycle, over and over again.

and I needed to realize my life is happening right now,

not months away... or months ago

I think it's really easy to caught up in the everydayness of life,

I know I personally spend much of my time just rushing towards to next thing, 

to the next goal I think will make everything seem right,

to the next thing that I think will make me happy,

without realizing that the present is what I should be focusing on.

so this is what I have been focusing on lately.

living in the present, not the past nor the future.

Things I've done to feel alive (hello awkward wording):

1. I got an email about the Episcopal Service Corps, a post-graduate volunteering program through the Episcopal Church that is committed to promoting social justice and living simply.

I seriously got emotional reading the website and looking at all the placements across the U.S.

like, teared up emotional because it's perfect.

it's exactly what I want to do, and I got this sense of peace after finding it.

next year (pending on the acceptance of my application) is figured out,

and I could not be happier with my choice.

just thinking about volunteering in LA, San Fran, NY, DC, or Winston-Salem, NC makes me feel so alive and excited about my life. I feel like I've gotten purpose back in my life.

2. Rebounding. Ok, so I know this is weird/awkward but seriously, after being with the same guy on and off for about 5 years, I really just needed to get the awkwardness of kissing/dancing/talking/flirting with someone else over with. I also knew if I didn't push myself to do this soon, I would just not do it and keep living in the past. so while I think there comes a point when rebounding has gone too far, I definitely support it in the short-term. so go get it ladies!

3. ladies night. friday night, I hung out with my friends Kat (http://kathleenleahy.tumblr.com/), Blair, and Liz (http://lizbricewhy.blogspot.com/). best. choice. ever. sometimes, you just need to get a little ridiculous with your ladies to remind you what life is really about, and too forgot all your little worries. I definitely needed that night, so thank you ladies!

4. House shows.  last night I went to another house show for Sons of the West, Barbaric and The Mason Burrow Sound. it was amazing! I'm a firm believer that music heals the soul, and live music is even better. just being there and dancing was so freeing. I went with my friend jennifer, and both of us weren't drinking but when we left, we were both definitely drunk on life (super cliche, but true). plus, the men at this party! my goodness, they were all fiiiine! where have all of you been hiding at loyola?! (hopefully no loyola men read by blog, otherwise this could get awkward.)

here's bit of Sons of the West:

 their album's on itunes, so check it out folks. also, check out their facebook pages

...and to think I was going to stay in and study.

but then I was like this is my last year at loyola.

it's either I make the most of it now, or regret it later,

and I plan on having little to no regrets this year.

ps. The Mason Burrow Sound also covered All of the Lights by Kanye

so. good.
here's a short clip of it:

please pardon jennifer and I's singing/talking. if only I was as good as sophia rose.